Funny skits for children about school - jokes, humor, KVN

Humor April 1, Jokes, April Fool's Day, KVN, statuses about school, jokes

See also funny poems about school for children. The advantages of our funny skits are that they do not require costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and the one who plays the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be inserted into a magazine), and they only require a short time to rehearse. At the same time, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes, looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also check out School Humor.

Sketch “At Russian language lessons”

Characters: teacher and students of the class Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point. Student Ivanov (raises his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once! Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay! Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us! Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished? Student Sidorov: Because dad was urgently called to work! Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay? Student Koshkin: I don’t know. I went to bed early. Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow! Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad? Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you. Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin? Student Sinichkin: None. Teacher: Why? Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken. Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”. Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine. Teacher: Why? Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings! Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence. Student Smirnov comes to the blackboard. The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage.” Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you. Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, went away is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition. Teacher: Guys, who can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members? Student Tyulkina raises her hand. Teacher: Please, Tyulkina. Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest. Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”. Student Sobakin: My mother works at a KNITTING factory. Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence. Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard. The teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets. Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses. Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive? Student Rubashkin: What? Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies? Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”? Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time. Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer? Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish! Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example. Student Petushkov: A cat is a dog. Teacher: What does “cat - dog” have to do with it? Student Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other. Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class? Student Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess! Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday? Disciple Sidorov: My older brother fell ill. Teacher: What do you have to do with it? Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike! Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father! Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow? Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a sentence with an appeal. Student Sushkina: Mary Ivanna, call! Copy

Sketch “Correct answer”

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two? Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich? Teacher: Well, let's say four apples. Student: And between whom? Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov. Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov. Teacher: Why is this? Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple. Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum? Student: No, I shouldn’t have plums. Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two? Student: Four. And all to Sidorov. Teacher: Why four? Student: Because I don’t like plums. Teacher: Wrong again. Student: How many is correct? Teacher: Now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary! (I. Butman) Copy

Drawing lesson

• The teacher is standing at the blackboard, the children are sitting at their sketchbooks.
• Teacher: “Today, guys, we will try to draw a vase.”
• The teacher brings a vase and places it on a hill. A few minutes later he walks between the rows and looks at the students' work. All children's drawings show a sketch of a vase in different stages. And one original has tanks, explosions, an army.
• Teacher: “Andrey, explain, is this a vase?”
• Andrey: “Well, of course, Viktor Ivanovich, but what else? You, as a representative of art, must understand that this is exactly how I saw this vase.”
• Viktor Ivanovich (with complete composure): “Okay, Andryusha, give me the diary.”
• Andrey hands over the diary and the teacher gives him a big fat two. Returns the diary to the creative “artist”.
• Andrey (looks at the diary): “What - a deuce? For what?"
• Viktor Ivanovich: “What are you talking about, Andryusha, how could you think, this is a top five, this is just my vision, this is exactly how I imagine it!”

Sketch “Our cases”

Characters: teacher and student Petrov Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you. The student goes to the board and prepares to write. Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.” A student writes from dictation on the board. Teacher: Great! Underline all the nouns in your story. The student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”. Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood? Student: Yes! Teacher: Start! Student: “Dad and Mom.” Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive. Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative. Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case. Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case. Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it! That's all! Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself? Student: Which one? Of course, an A! Teacher: So, an A? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”? Student: In the prepositional form! Teacher: In the prepositional form? Why? Student: Well, I suggested it myself! (according to L. Kaminsky) Copy

The funniest skits on subjects for the last bell of grade 11

It is certainly easier for 11th grade graduates to play funny skits on subjects for the last bell. Firstly, there is more experience, secondly, the acting talent is better honed, and thirdly, there is no fear of teachers. After all, graduates have nothing to fear anymore, which means they can safely joke. But in connection with the upcoming exams, not every daredevil will undertake to parody a specialized teacher: this is fraught with consequences. It is much safer and safer to act out funny skits on subjects for the last bell of 11th grade, without mentioning specific cases and characters from the history of the school.

Eg:

The official reading of a humorous statement with the following text: “I, Ivan Ivanov, responsibly declare my protest against the departure of class 11-A from school No. 111. I convincingly demand that the teaching council consider the selective admission of students to final exams. Attached is a list of important arguments.

• At the moment, no worthy replacement has been found for the above class;
• The absence of class 11-A on the school premises will result in disruption of the school’s biorhythm;
• Due to the departure of the above-mentioned class, the intellectual and cultural level of the institution will fall by half;
• The graduating class will be very sad and sad. We will cry;

Reading a collective complaint from graduating class 11-A with the text: “We, the students of class 11-A who sadly signed below, express our protest against the intention of the school administration to “trample” us from our beloved educational institution, thereby depriving us of our childhood. We strongly demand that you stay with us for the 2nd year and ensure a pleasant, warm atmosphere, the love of the teachers and the kind attitude of the staff. We hope for the speedy satisfaction of the announced request, otherwise we undertake to pursue you and unconditionally visit you in our native walls at least 2 times a year.”

Skits on subjects for 11th graders for the last bell: video

Sketch “At Math Lessons”

Characters: teacher and students of the class Teacher: Petrov, you have difficulty counting to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become? Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna! Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem. Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard. Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How much... Student Trushkin heads to the door. Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?! Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy! Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday. Disciple Petrov: I don’t have it. Teacher: Where is he? Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents! Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have? Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles. Teacher: You just don’t know math! Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother! Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven? Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer! Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you? Student Ivanov: Mom doesn’t have free time! Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself. The students get to work. Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev? Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly! Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina. Student Shcherbinina: This is a mathematical Greek. Copy

Feed the baby

The skit involves one adult in the role of a child (daughter or son, it doesn’t matter) and two children in the role of parents. The “child” is put on a bib and seated at a table on which there is a plate of porridge and a spoon.

Child : Porridge again?

Mom : This is a very tasty and healthy oatmeal.

Dad : (gives a spoon) Well, eat it, please.

Child : (turns away) No!

Mom : And for mom?

Child : (shakes his head back and forth) I don’t want to, I won’t! Better give me some candy. I'll eat at least a kilogram of them.

Dad : And for dad?

Child : (stomps his feet, hits the table with his hands) Candy! Candies! Candies!

Mom : And the airplane, the airplane, is flying straight into someone’s mouth.

The child swallows the spoon, makes a dissatisfied face and runs away crazy.

Parents in unison: Oh, these persuasions, disputes and quarrels over porridge! It takes so much effort to feed a child.

Sketch “At natural history lessons”

Characters: teacher and class students Teacher: Who can name five wild animals? Student Petrov holds out his hand. Teacher: Answer, Petrov. Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs. Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina! Student Kosichkina: These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off. Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower. Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot. Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans? Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him. Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read? Student Petukhov: “Frog Traveler” Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin. Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one. Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand. Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask? Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys? Teacher: True. Disciple Zaitsev: That’s what I see: there are so few monkeys! Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse? Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat. Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile. Student Meshkov (coming to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters. Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible? Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five! Teacher: Khomyakov, answer, why do people need a nervous system? Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous. Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute? Student Sinichkin: Because I’m terribly worried that the bell might interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson. Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak? Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else. Teacher: Try, Belkov. Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna. Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops? Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna. Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?” Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand. Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin. Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later! Copy

Scene “Folder under the mouse”

Vovka: Listen, I’ll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered. Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny. Vovka (surprised): What’s so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet. Andrey (laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat! Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what? Andrey: (winking and tapping his forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle! Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you. Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh? (I. Semerenko) Copy

Sketch “3=7 and 2=5”

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you? Petrov: What? Teacher: You haven’t done anything all year, you haven’t taught anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report. Petrov (looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work. Teacher: What are you talking about? Which one? Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics is wrong and... proved it! Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this? Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and that…Archimedes! Teacher: Archimedes? Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three. Teacher: What else? Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven! Teacher: How is this? Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right? Teacher: That's right. Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right? Teacher: That's right. Petrov: Let’s take the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right? Teacher: Exactly. Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true! Teacher: Yes. Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7! Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived. Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science... Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right? Petrov: Exactly! Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too? Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly. Teacher: Let’s take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right? Petrov: Right! Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”! Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich? Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did? Petrov: Well, let's say. Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A? Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better. Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A! Guys, help Petrov. (Newspaper “Primary School”, “Mathematics”, No. 24, 2002) Copy

https://otmetim.info/smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej/

I do not want to go to school

Participants:

1. Vovochka is chewing gum, playing on the phone, sitting in a chair.
2. Fairy is a girl with wings and a magic wand.
3. The king is a boy with a crown on his head.

Voiceover : Summer was coming to an end, it was time to get ready for school. Vovochka had to go to first grade for the first time. However, he categorically did not want this. He should play on his phone and watch cartoons all day long.

Vovochka : If I were a minister, I would close all schools. And instead of studying, schoolchildren would be allowed to play with tablets, ride a scooter for half a day, or do nothing. Lie down, walk and have fun, And there is no need to study at school. Then Vovochka yawns and falls asleep.

Fairy : I am a good fairy, I will fulfill whatever the child wishes. If you want to be a minister, have it your way. (waves his wand and runs away)

King : (appears in anger) Get up, get up, Mr. Minister. War, trouble! What to do?

Vovochka wakes up displeased.

Vovochka : Who is the minister? I? What's happening?

King : War, war! What to do, minister?

Vovochka : So bring out the tanks and planes. Still simple?

King : There is no such thing in our kingdom! You closed all the schools. No one can read or write, much less fly tanks or airplanes!

Vovochka : How? So what should we do? So schools are so important? It turns out that knowledge is needed! I don’t want to be a minister, I want to read, write, study. How can I get everything back? Tell me the way! (faints)

Fairy : I see, I realized my mistake. Do you want to go to school? Let everything be your way! (waves his wand and runs away)

Vovochka comes to her senses, the king is not nearby.

Vovochka : September 1 is coming soon, but I haven’t bought textbooks yet! (runs away)

Sketch “Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather”

Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov - Hello, Vanya. - Hello. - Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you? - Wow, things are going strong. - I'm sorry, what? - Cool, I say, just one wick froze this. Rolls towards the cage. Let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And let him show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how it gets messy. Himself with a black eye. The teacher almost went crazy, and the bike booed. Laugh. Cool, right? - Was there a horse there? - Which horse? - Well, the one who was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything. - Well, didn’t you understand anything? - Well, let's start all over again. - Well, let's. So, one wick... - Without a candle? - Without. - What kind of wick is this? - Well, one guy, a long one, rode up to the cage... - What did he ride up on, on a bicycle? - No, the skete had a bicycle. - Which sket? - Well, one little idiot. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a snob. - With whom, with whom? - Yes, not with whom, but with what, his nose is in the shape of a snob. Well, let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched. - Did he have an itch? “No,” he sawed. - Well, how did you saw it? - What did you saw? - Well, is it big? - How? - Well, this same, schnobel? - No, the skewer had a snob. And the fuse got a black eye, a blast hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He opened his mitten, and so he jerked. - Why the mitten, did he get fussy in the winter? - Yes, there was no winter there, there was a teacher there. - Teacher, you mean. - Well, yes, with a black eye, that is, with a great one, no, with coils. But it was the rolling of the bike that made the bike whoop. - How did you whoop? - And so, I’m covered. Into small pieces. Do you understand now? - Understood. I realized that you don’t know the Russian language at all. - I don’t know how! - Can you imagine if everyone spoke like you, what would happen? - What? - Remember, at Gogol's. “The Dnieper is wonderful in calm weather, when its full waters freely and smoothly rush through forests and mountains, neither rustling nor thundering. You look and don’t know whether its majestic width is going or not” and further “A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper.” - I remember. - Now listen to how it sounds in your quirky language: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering around and showing off, it saws its cool waves through the forests and mountains. It won’t whoop, it won’t cover itself. You hatch your eyes, open the mitten and don’t know whether he’s sawing or not. A rare bird with a snob will reach the middle of the Dnieper. And if he finishes scratching, he will whoop and throw off his hooves.” Do you like? “I like it,” he said and ran, shouting: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather.” (Lion Izmailov) Copy

Grandmothers at the entrance

Three children are playing. It will be more interesting if the participants are boys. Instead of one child, it is permissible to invite dad to participate. Everyone has a scarf tied on their head.

“Grandmothers” are sitting on a bench, a voice-over sounds: One day the grandmothers went for a walk with their grandchildren in the yard. And a conversation began between them.

Grandmother 1 (hereinafter, Fedotovna): Oh, Petrovna, oh Nikitichna. The grandchildren were just born yesterday and are already going to school.

Grandmother 2 (hereinafter, Petrovna): Don’t talk, Fedotovna. Now there are so many worries. So much trouble.

Grandmother 3 (hereinafter, Nikitichna): As I can imagine, it’s already scary.

Fedotovna : They taught the children somehow. And we will put our grandchildren on their feet.

Petrovna : What if someone offends you? What then? I need to get a stronger cane from the garage. Wow, I’ll give these offenders a hard time!

Nikitichna : Or maybe we should accompany them all the time? Yes, they should carry briefcases so that their relatives don’t get hurt.

Fedotovna : And at Ivanovna’s second entrance, my grandson goes to some. So strong, he can stand up for himself.

Petrovna : A sectarian, then? God forbid, Fedotovna. I will not give my grandson to the devils.

Nikitichna : Yes, not a sect, but a section. You old fool!

Petrovna : And the section is even worse. No, you do what you want, and I will be my guard. I will follow him everywhere.

Nikitichna : Well, they’ll laugh. We'll have to come up with a canning solution.

Fedotovna : You are such a fool. This is conspiracy, not conspiracy.

Petrovna : As you say, I’ll take my grandfather’s earflaps and sunglasses. And who will recognize me? No one will understand that the grandmother is following her grandson.

Fedotovna : Petrovna, I suggest everyone come to your garage and look for more reliable canes and things for our special operation.

Petrovna : Covered up. We will only take our grandchildren home.

All the heroes get up, bow to the guests and leave.

Young man in a nightclub

Characters: girl, young man, mother A girl is sitting at the bar counter. A young man approaches her. Young man: Hello, baby! Are you bored? GIRL: Yes, there is a little. YOUNG MAN: Shall we come with me? I will give you an unforgettable evening! GIRL: Sounds like it. But my mother is waiting for me at home at 23-00. YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! What, are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom too? Ha! Suddenly, someone’s hand confidently takes the young man by the ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an older woman. YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here? MOM: What are you doing here? YOUNG MAN: Well, mom! I... MOTHER: And I don’t want to hear! March home! YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back! MOM: Home! (KVN team from Ryazan) Copy

Funny ditties from children

Three children dressed as grandmothers take part. It is permissible to involve boys too, it’s even more fun. Children dance, spin, and so on. One by one, each child takes a few steps closer to the audience and sings their ditty. Each has three quatrains.

In the morning Dima was too lazy to comb his hair, a cow came up to him and combed it with her tongue!

Masha threw the porridge out the window! Apparently Masha is allergic to porridge!

I know Napoleon, He discovered America! I don’t have enough strength to teach history!

Even on Katya’s birthday, Vova, out of habit, instead of congratulating Katya, pulled her pigtails!

I love reading poems out loud. It’s just hard for me to understand Pushkin’s creations!

Leshka sits at the table, picks his nose, and the booger replies: I still can’t get out!

In the morning, our Mila gave mom two candies. I barely had time to give them as gifts, and immediately ate them myself.

Petya catches fish deftly, Can make a raft, Just “hello” and “thank you” Can’t speak!

My birthday has come, I don’t want to grow up, I wish I could cancel my birthday, and how can I pick up the gifts?

Radiologist's office

Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist. Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table. A little boy and grandmother enter the office. GRANDMOTHER (pointing to the boy). I've looked through everything and the glasses are nowhere to be found. I think he swallowed them. Just like your grandfather! RADIOLOGIST (addresses the boy). Have you swallowed granny glasses? The boy doesn't answer. GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! Just like your grandfather! RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and find out everything. GRANDMOTHER (joyfully). Yep, gotcha! I wish I had something like this at home. RADIOLOGIST (looks at the picture). Well, well, well... You know... not only does he have glasses here, he also has a wallet with money. I can’t say exactly, but somewhere around three hundred rubles. GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, we don’t need someone else’s. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can’t watch TV without them. RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now. The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out on the floor. GRANDMOTHER (grabs her glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don’t even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you! RADIOLOGIST (twists his wallet in his hands). No need. But if possible, I’ll keep the wallet as a souvenir. GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, not ours, we don’t need someone else’s. Grandmother and grandson leave the office. RADIOLOGIST (loudly). Next! (A. Givargizov) Copy

Family

Preschool children participate in the role of:

1. Dad - a boy in glasses, a robe, with a false mustache, sitting in a chair, with a newspaper in his hands.
2. Mom - a girl in beads, maybe in heels, with a handbag, sitting at a table and leafing through a magazine.
3. Daughters - a girl with two ponytails, plays on the floor with toys.

Everyone is minding their own business, when suddenly the phone rings, which is near mom. She picks up the phone.

Mom : Oh, Lyudochka! How are you, tell me! Yeah... yeah... And I'm fine. Today is a day off, I’m thinking, where should I start relaxing? From cleaning, ironing or cooking? Yeah... yeah.. Don't say it, there's so much to do. When will everything be done? Well, how are you? Sure sure…

Then a daughter approaches her mother with a book in her hands and asks her to read a fairy tale.

Mom : Daughter, can’t you see that mom is busy? Come to dad! (continues to talk on the phone). Oh, Lyudochka, don’t talk! I don't even have time to read a fairy tale. Well, what are you doing? Sure sure…

The daughter returns to the toys, takes the doll and approaches her mother again.

Daughter : Mom, come play with dolls with me!

Mom : (turns off the phone) I can’t, I have a lot to do. Come to dad, play with him. And mom went to do the laundry.

Mom leaves the stage, the daughter takes the ball and approaches dad. He tries to dodge his daughter, hiding behind a newspaper. Then he gets up from his chair.

Dad : You better go for a walk. I still have so many advertisements in the newspaper to re-read. We'll play tomorrow night, okay?

Dad leaves the stage with a newspaper in his hands. The presenter appears, the girl plays with toys alone.

Presenter : Dear parents, don’t forget about your child! And play with him more often. Walk more often, kiss sweeter. When the baby grows up, maybe it will help you someday.

Mom and dad come out, take their daughter by the hand and bow to the audience.

Fabulous teachers' council

Characters: Dad: Serpent Gorynych Head teacher: Baba Yaga Mathematics teacher: Goblin Geography teacher: Kikimora Botany teacher: Witch Class teacher: Water Serpent Gorynych (flies into the teacher’s room): ...Yes, I told him a hundred times!.. Well, what is he doing again? did he do? LESHIY: I multiplied the minus with the sine - I got one with a minus! KIKIMORA: Confused albinos with albatross... WITCH: Throwing apricots... KIKIMORA: Blowing soap bubbles!.. Leshy: On a bet Swallowed the bell! KIKIMORA: Yawned the whole lesson and infected everyone with yawning! Vodyanoy: And yesterday I brought Hippopotamus to class!!! Goblin: There is no sweetness with this nasty boy! BABA YAGA (unctuously): Maybe give him poison?.. Or throw him to be devoured by the wolves? AM – And there is no bad student! KIKIMORA: Don’t get excited, dear Yaga. In our age, such measures are outdated. Leshy: A hundred years ago, We would have eaten him, Of course... But now We don’t have that many students in stock... VODYANY: I agree! Let's not resort to extreme measures. WITCH: Let's try to captivate him with a good example. (To Zmey Gorynych - in a sweet voice): Tell us how YOU studied at school. SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused): Mmmm... Less-more... That is, more or less!.. And yet... WITCH (interrupts): Ah... I understand! Your example is no good... But the boy doesn’t want to learn at all! BABA YAGA: Oh, how much hassle there is with children!.. SERPENT GORYNYCH: Lock him in the closet - let him learn his lessons! And if he doesn’t stop yawning... ALL IN CHORUS: We will turn him into chewing gum And we will SLOWLY CHEW! (E. Lipatova) Copy

Seller of diplomas

A colorful group lined up on the site. A man with a cardboard around his neck and the inscription “Certificates, rights, certificates, diplomas”, street musicians are playing nearby on the right, and a beggar is begging on the left. A young man approaches the document seller.

• Young man: “Please tell me, is it possible to buy a certificate of secondary education from you?”
• Seller of documents: “Easily!”
• Young man: “Is he real?”
• Seller of documents: “No doubt! Well, shall we take it?
• The young man nods his head in agreement.
• Seller of documents: “What’s your name?”
• Young man: “Vasya.”
• The seller addresses the beggar and street musicians: “We work for Vasya!”
• The musicians turn to the young man and begin to play a school waltz.
• The seller turns to Vasya: “Dear Vasya! For all ten years you have been the pride of our school and now the solemn moment has come to present you with a certificate! On behalf of all the teachers at the school, I sincerely congratulate you! You really deserve it!”
• The seller hands over the certificate and wipes away his tears. A beggar comes up to Vasya and shakes his hand: “Congratulations!”

Daily regime

Characters: Schoolboy Vova Schoolboy Petya PETYA: - Do you, Vova, know what a regime is? VOVA: - Of course! Regime... Regime is where I want, I jump there. PETYA: - Wrong! A routine is a daily routine. Are you doing it? VOVA: — I even exceed it. PETYA: - How is this? VOVA: - According to the schedule, I need to walk twice a day, but I walk four! PETYA: - No, you are not exceeding it, but violating it! Do you know what the daily routine should be? VOVA: - I know! Climb. Charger. Washing. Making the bed. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk. PETYA: - Okay. VOVA: - And it can be even better. PETYA: - How is this? VOVA: - That's it! Climb. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream. PETYA: - Well, no. Under this regime, you will turn out to be lazy and ignorant. VOVA: - It won’t work. PETYA: - Why? VOVA: — Because with my grandmother we carry out the entire regime. PETYA: - How is it with your grandmother? VOVA: - Yes. I do half of it, and grandma does half of it. And together we get the whole regime. PETYA: - I don’t understand! VOVA: - Very simple. I do the lifting. The grandmother does the exercises. Washing - grandma. Making the bed - grandma. Breakfast is me. Walk - me. Preparing lessons - my grandmother and I. Walk - me. Lunch is me. PETYA: - Aren’t you ashamed?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined. Copy

https://otmetim.info/smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej/

School riddles

Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing with his hand at a friend standing nearby): And Vovka Sidorov from our class is such a slowpoke! I came across interesting riddles here about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. Of course, I guessed everything right away, and then I decided to test Vovka’s intelligence. SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov): Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: “The time between two bells is called...” VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly): Change! SCHOOLBOY: Well, that’s right, “change” is appropriate, but the answer must be in rhyme! VOVKA SIDOROV (offended): Yeah, you said it yourself, that’s right, and then you start... SCHOOLBOY: Okay, let me tell you another riddle, just think about it before you tell me the answer. “The athlete told us: Everyone go to the sports hall...” VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out): Shop! SCHOOLBOY: What store? For what? Where did you see him? VOVKA SIDOROV: Why? I need to buy new sneakers, otherwise the sole of mine is already falling behind on my left foot. And the sporting goods store is right opposite the school. You've seen him a hundred times too. SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall): Well, what can you prove to him here! SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov): But can you guess this riddle in rhyme? “Schools are not simple buildings, in schools they get...” VOVKA SIDOROV: On the head! Yesterday I almost didn’t touch Lenka Petrova’s bow, but she hit me on the head with a book, bam-bang. SCHOOLBOY: Listen to another riddle: “And today I got a grade again...” VOVKA SIDOROV (shouting): A C, a C again, I got a C in mathematics. SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall): Well, Vovka is slow-witted! What a slowpoke! Although... I look, his face is cunning and cunning. Maybe he was playing a trick on me? Today is April 1st!!! (Leonid Medvedev) Copy

We pick up from the garden

Both adults and children can play the miniature.

Characters:

• Mother;
• daughter;
• son.

Mom takes the children from the garden and tries to dress them. He sits both his daughter and son on chairs.

Mom : (takes the shoe) Come on, daughter, this foot. (the daughter hands over the leg, but in the end it turns out that the mother pointed to the wrong leg).

Mom : Oh, wrong leg. Daughter, give me another one. (here mom realizes that she was right the first time, but now it’s the wrong leg) No, daughter, you still need another leg.

Daughter : But mom, I don’t have legs anymore!

There is a short pause, the mother quickly puts on her daughter’s shoes and proceeds to her son. The boy is trying to put on a jacket. He has cars in his hands.

Mom : Son, give me the cars. I'll hold. I need your hands to put on my jacket. (the son dodges and does not give up the car)

Mom : Well, okay, take all the toys in one hand, and give me the other. (the son tries to take all the cars in one hand, but they do not intervene and fall, he collects them in one pile with a cry)

Mom : Okay, give me another pen then. (the son gives his mother a free hand) So, now another one.

Son : Mom, that’s all! I'm out of hands! First I gave you my right pen, now I gave you my left. I don't have any more! Mom quickly puts on her jacket and turns to the little spectators: You see how difficult it is sometimes to dress you. (here the son shouts: Mom, but this is not my jacket!)